Thursday, August 25, 2011

Tangled Nerves...

I am 26 weeks along in this pregnancy. Nothing new happening along the lines of cravings or sleeping, still the same, I dont crave much although I do eat cereal more often then normal, and having to get up to pee 1000 times at night or because I just cant sleep is becoming more frequent.

My doctor appointment: Yesterday evening I had a doctors appointment, you know just one of those routine appointments in pregnancy that normal people have, yea I must not be normal. It seems that none of my pregnancies are normal apparently. I was told the following things:
-My blood pressure is way high 150's/100 I believe is what they said.
-Changed medication
-They are concerned the baby isnt growing because I have not gained any weight even though I measure the right week me not gaining weight and having the BP issues makes it a concern
-I have a high chance of having a Placenta Aburption, which is a huge factor in this because it can kill the baby
-I have to go have a million tests done tomorrow including the 1 hr glucose test
-I go in next week for a growth scan and BP check
-If those tests are iffy to any degree he wants to put me in the hospital on bedrest

That is all I can remember at the moment. I have to say that I think my nerves are shot and today I am a mess inside. Its hard knowing all these issues and having nobody to talk to about it that completely understands. I mean overall the doctor basically told me that I am a walking time bomb with my blood pressure this way, because it carries not only huge risks to the development of the baby but also to me as far as my eyesight, kidneys, liver and the list goes on to heart problems. My take on the bedrest is that its highly impossible for me to do other then at home, we have no family nor friends where we live, we homeschool, I have school online that must be done or I have to pay a huge chunk of money to the school and will not be able to have a leave when the baby actually comes, hubby has to work, we dont have the funds for childcare for 3 kids, and I would be in total depression not being able to see my kids like I do now. So all this is just a mess for me apparently. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. See the things is I feel normal, fine, like my normal self, then I go have a appointment and find out I am not my normal self and that there are risks to a unborn child. What mother wants to hear those words or any of the words I heard yesterday? Not one I can think of that would like those words! My life cannot just be normal can it?!

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