Friday, April 13, 2012

What I am realizing...

Disclaimer: This is a devotional for women that I received in my inbox this morning and thought I would share it here and what my thoughts are...

Maybe if I didn’t know what I was missing, it wouldn’t be so difficult. When my husband followed God’s call to move to Ohio after serving at a church in California for eight years, I was devastated. I’d assumed that we were going to be at our church and part of that community forever. We were settled in an established neighborhood with excellent schools, and we lived close to the beach in a house I simply adored. I was part of a circle of Christian women who had become my dearest friends. We met once a week for coffee and often talked to each other throughout the day. I thought I’d always have them in my life. However, God opened a unique door of ministry for my husband in Ohio, so I did my best to trust him as we packed our things and moved cross-country. Even though my husband has been on staff at this church for three years now, I wouldn’t say that I have any real friends here. Of course, I’ve met many women through Bible study groups and parties we host in our home. The people here are warm and hospitable. My husband and I love our new church, and my kids are crazy about their youth group. But I miss having a girlfriend I can confide in or call on a moment’s notice to go shopping or out to lunch. I don’t have any of those “just stop by” kind of friends. Some days I feel so lonely. It’s not as if I don’t have any friends. My “California friends,” as I call them, get together once a year for a girls’ weekend. It’s as if no time has passed at all, and we catch up on each other’s lives. Then it’s a long flight back home and back to life as usual. I keep a busy social calendar, as you’d imagine a minister’s wife does, but is it too much to ask to have one close friend here? —Jessica

Women need close, meaningful friendships with other women. It’s the way God uniquely designed us! While men may be content to have one or two close friends in a lifetime, women are more likely to keep up with a range of friends—friends from grade school, college roommates, co-workers and neighbors from three neighborhoods ago. However, at times we may end up in places with no one on our side (like Moses in Numbers 12). Relationships change. Life moves us on to different places—both physically and emotionally. A job change, a move, a time-consuming project at work, the birth of a child or the dissolution of a friend’s marriage—all of these can drastically affect our friendships. Remember, friendships are not a given. We can’t take them for granted and assume that we’ll always have them. If you feel relationally dry right now, consider the following:
  • Start by examining your friendship with God. God is the only ever-present friend through all of life’s circumstances ( And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed. -Deuteronomy 31:8). Are you cultivating that friendship as you would a relationship with a best girlfriend?
  • It’s possible that you’re in a place in life where God has not given you close girlfriends. What is God trying to teach you by forcing some alone-time?
  • Consider changing your expectations for friendships. It’s helpful to realize that some friendships never become very close, and they last for only a season. Don’t close yourself off to these short-term opportunities just because someone may not become your best friend. You may be surprised how and where a friendship may develop if you give it a chance.
  • Take the initiative to cultivate relationships that may have gone by the wayside.
“A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are.”
—Gale Berkowitz, UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women, 2006

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
-Proverbs 18:21-

I have never thought of my life that way before. I honestly havent had "real friends " since high school, I keep up with a handful of ladies on facebook but thats about it. We live in 2 separate worlds these days, they are becoming new moms and I am considered a pro mom...some are just getting married but I've been married...some are graduating college while I am in college still...

When Jim chose to move to CO 2 years ago I honestly felt like my whole world was over, all I was used to had been ripped right out from under me, my normalcy of life was gone, not to mention we lived in the country and we moved to the biggest city in CO...1500 miles away from what I considered my normalcy. I remember questioning the move, hating my husband, mad at God for allowing this to happen, feeling cooped up in the house because I knew not a I am grateful for that time that I had with just Him...

What surprises me the most is that since we have been here 2 years now, that my own growth with God has widened so much, I read fairly consistent, I pray more, I talk to Him more then I used to, I appreciate the amazing things He has given me and shown me. I know that I can confide in Him like I can nobody else. He is always in my thoughts in some way. Before we moved I would spend time with Him but it didnt go much past a verse or two, nor did I talk to Him the way I do now. God has been my sole friend here, the one who never leaves me hanging, the one who is with me through my darkest. Now, He has blessed me with a friend whom I adore greatly, but it took a lot prayer and it happened in His time not my own. He still takes up most of my day, no matter what I am doing, or where I am at. 

Right now in life I need Him the most, I need Him to hold me up and get me through my days, I need Him to be right with me in my darkest thoughts...Life throws huge obstacles at us all, and God will guide us through them while walking right by our sides. He has greatly blessed me with my time alone with Him over the past few years and I am just realizing that more then ever. I love Him more for it...

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God wants us to have alone time with Him, and we need our alone time with Him...always make time for your Heavenly Father...


1 comment:

  1. Your faith in Him and His plan for your beautiful family is inspirational. :)

    Please stop by my blog, there is an award waiting for you.


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