Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Healing Journey Pt. 2: {The "S" Word}

I have been doing ok since everything that happened in March. {If you missed it and want to read Pt 1 just click the link!} Jim & I are doing really well. We have taken some extra time for ourselves and discussed many a thing dealing with the issue. I have really been dealing with a lot myself, finding the way God wants me to go with our marriage and what exactly my wifely roles are and how to manage them. I have read A LOT of blog posts dealing with that lovely Curse Word: Submission lately. I actually didn't know how many women in general struggle with that. I mean I know I do because I honestly only realized that it was God's plan for marriage, but so many woman have a bad taste in their mouths about that "S" word as I like to call it. I WAS one of those women. I was raised under the impression that woman are equal, we can do all things same as a man could, we are to be independent, strong, and handle every single thing on our own. I was sadly LOST on that impression. YES woman are equal to men, YES we can be strong & independent, YES we can handle many things at once {multitasking}...however in our marriages, woman are supposed to help, NOT lead. I read a great post recently over at One Flesh Marriage that really opened my eyes. Kate really explained it well. I realized after reading her post that what I was doing was WRONG. My husband doesn't need my words of guilt and blame, he needs my words of encouragement and for me to walk beside him without pointing my finger at all I believe he has done or is doing wrong. God will show him if he is doing wrong, and the majority of the time believe it or not men know they are doing wrong before they even do something, just like we do.

Some of my hard points are parenting, finances, and intimacy. I think things should be handled one way however my way is NOT God's way. Never is. With parenting I have to realize that Jim is the one who is to set the rules and flow of our home, what he says goes, no matter what I feel the kids should be doing. Its at his discretion of how to handle the discipline. With finances, Jim is the one who makes our budget, he asks my opinion on things but the final say is his{I have tried doing this my way and it is NOT the right way, I fail and we end up in a hole}. With intimacy, I have always in some way used it as a bribe, or if I didn't feel like it then, nope, well again that isn't right either. Now, do NOT think everything is in my husband's hands, he does ask for my input and after the discussion, I leave it to him, well I am trying. Kate says in her post that submission = freedom, she explains that well too. You will have to go digging in their blog for all these things, its too much to list here. I will say that I believe she is right. I know from experience and much thought that the times I have left things to husband to decide I have always felt much better. Its a weight that I don't have to carry. I know when I ask Jim to buy something and he tells me know, its like setting up the war guns and we are battling, by the end he will say "Fine, you do what you want to do"...as he walks off mad, I sit there in my spot mad at myself too. I am made that he agreed to whatever it was, not only that I am mad  that I battled about it. I have decided that no longer will I set off battle cannons, I will just wave my white flag and go on about my business. I have to not only trust Jim that he knows what he's doing but I also have to trust God that Jim knows what he is doing. 

Its a hard pill to swallow. I know. I am right there with you. But I know and have come to realize that if I want a Happy, Godly marriage then I need to follow what God's plan is and stop trying to follow my own will...Its a learning process that will open new doors in your marriage...And guess what that "S" word isn't just for Women, there's work for the Men too...check THIS POST out too!

Here are 2 places I have ventured to and loved the posts:
-One Flesh Marriage{Christian Based}
-Audra Silva{Christian Based}

1 comment:

  1. You're so strong Bestie:) I admire the fact that you love your hubby enough to find out and work on doing what God calls women/wives to be! I love watching you grow in Christ!

    Love ya!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are awesome and much appreciated however, I reserve the right to publish or not publish a comment based on its contents.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...