Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Art Of Raising Little Boys...

I am a Momma to 3 Little Monsters, all of which are completely different. When I was pregnant with my first son, Andrew, I dreamt of how he would be, what he would looked like, who he would get his personality from, what his interests would be, and along with all my dreams of this little boy we would soon welcome to the world, I had fears. I feared that I wouldnt be a good Momma to him, that he wouldnt like me, that I wouldnt know what to do with a boy because they are so different from little girls. I knew I didnt want him to have some of the traits his dad and I had at the time, and I knew I wanted him to have a healthy happy life. 

On a cold winter night in January 2007 we welcomed a 6lb 7oz black haired blue eyed little boy to our family. He was perfect. He melted my heart like no other. There is something special between a Momma and her boys, its a bond like no other. I knew how to take care of a newborn because we already had our daughter, Gaby. But little boys again are very different then little girls. Andrew loved to be held, he was loved to be rocked. He wanted that closeness to me, he wanted that closeness with his daddy. He loved to look around, he cared less about his toys, he would rather observe what you were doing and be talked to. I remember his daddy carrying him around like a football because he was so tiny. Andrew would just lay on Jim's forearm and sleep, with his head in Jim's hand. It was one of the cutest things I had ever seen, the love between Jim and his son. 

Its been 6 years since Andrew joined our family, and since then we have welcomed a 8lb 14oz black haired blue eyed little boy in April 2009, and a 8lb 8oz blonde haired blue eyed little boy in November 2011 to our family. Isaiah and Oliver are very different from Andrew, but they took my heart just like Andrew did. 

I have 3 little boys, I am still in shock to this day. My boys are so very different, they dont have many traits that are the same. They need different things, different amounts of attention, different discipline, etc.

Andrew our oldest son is a very shy little man, he is highly observant, he loves to do things that require mechanics and how things work, hes a listener, he enjoys being outdoors, and he is sensitive. With him we have to be careful what we say and how we say it, I have to provide things for him to do that deal with how things work and putting things together. He likes observing other people, so you have to be careful what you say or do around him. He also has a temper when he gets upset, so you have to get down to his level and really focus on talking to him about the situation. He is also a quick learner so when it comes to our homeschooling I have to be sure he wont get too bored with it, it has to be something that intrigues his little mind or he will become very uninterested and in turn will cause us problems. 

Isaiah is our 4yo son, our middle little guy. He is the one who wants attention the most, he loves doing things for others, he is a helper, anything you can ask of him to do he wants to do it because it gets a "big" reaction from you. He is not shy, he is a talker, he is very much a outdoors little guy. He has a temper. He fights for his place well and wants you to always know he is there. He is also the one you have to be quick with, if he is in trouble it has to have a consequence that second its not something you can wait on and discuss with him later. He has to have reminders of the rules and consequences for his actions. He is our reader, he loves to color and draw. 

Oliver is our 1yo son. He is a handful to say the least. We have to be quick with him as well on consequences not only because he is learning them but because he will do things just to be mean. Hes our hitter...if he doesnt like what you say he will hit you, he also hits just to hit, he has a horrible temper, he throws tantrums when he doesnt get his way...He is also our lovey child, he wants that closeness with us and will fall asleep in your arms opposed to his own bed. He likes to play and have that one on one attention, he moves around all the time and gets into everything. He too craves the attention...glad there is room on our laps for all the boys (: 

In the world we live in today TV and Internet have taken over our kids childhood. When I was growing up I loved playing outside and climbing trees, I made hundreds of mud pies and played in the rain any chance I got. I pick flowers and ran around, wasnt scared to pick up a worm or spider...I loved laying on the cold grass on hot summer days looking at the clouds and birds. We had TV and Internet, but I chose to be outside. I do the same with my children, we have TV and obviously Internet but our children are limited to TV and never allowed on our computers. I dont want it to consume them like it does so many children today. I wont risk it with them either. 

I dont have an "Art" so to speak, I am just an everyday Momma learning to raise my boys just the same as anyone else. I do however have some thoughts on raising boys though that I will now share. 

  • Be a loving Momma: always show your boys love, boys/men have issues showing their emotions, they tend to keep things in or let it out in anger. Little boys need to know its ok to say how they feel and share it to someone anytime they can. Affection is one thing little boys need from their Momma. 
  • Be a listening Momma: always listen to your boys, boys tend to not talk as much as girls, so anytime you have the opportunity to listen to your little men, do. They have a lot to say, their minds are always running, you may have more questions then full out conversations but take it...dont shove it off. 
  • Be a caring Momma: so many parents today shove off their children, and one thing that baffles me as a parent are the Moms and Dads who tell their sons to "suck it up, be a boy or be a man"...that attitude to me shows they dont care that their little guys feelings got hurt, or that they physically got hurt. When your boy falls down and skins his knee its ok to put a bandage on it and wipe his tears and give a hug, dont be so heartless to your guys, that causes them to clam up and later in life they will never come to you when they need to because they will have always gotten the shove off because they need to "suck it up, be a boy, or be a man" response. 
  • Be a cheerleading Momma: Our boys need a cheerleader, at any age. They need to know their Momma is their supporter in life, no we may not always like the choices they make but we can support them in life. Cheer them on whether it be a drawing they are doing, a new sport they are trying out, or a big life decision they are faced at making. 
  • Be a rugged Momma: sometimes jeans an old tee and hiking boots are needed but you can do it. Little boys love the mud, worms, and down right grossness of being outside. Go play in the mud, dig for worms and other bugs, and climb trees with your guys. You can come home and clean up, but those memories you will make with your little men will last a lifetime. 
  • Be an adventurous Momma: Dont stay all cooped up indoors, even in the rain and snow, go for hikes with your guy, scavenger hunts, or make a treasure map and seek the treasure...They will love it and in the end so will you.
  • Be a dream follower Momma: just because your a Momma now doesnt mean you have to put your dreams off. If you want to finish school, make a career plung, start your own business, or even chop off your hair do it...it shows your strength in life, something little boys need to see in woman. 
  • Be a Unique Momma: dont follow the crowd, or your friends in being a Momma. What works for one Momma may not work for another. If little Johnny is in baseball, dont force your little Henry to be in baseball too, he may not be good at it or love it, he may rather be at the Science center inspecting motion or looking at bugs. Follow your little guys interest not the interest of you or your friends.
  • Be a Modest Momma: all too often I go out and see a 30yo woman tugging around her 2-4 kids in the store wearing a mini skirt, or shorts too short, or even a shirt that has no neckline, and the worst is wearing Pajamas out in public. Take care of yourself and respect your body for your little guys, they dont need to have the number one woman in their life sharing all their attributes with the world. Its not ok for your boys and its not courteous to the other little men in fellow ladies lives...My boys dont need to see that and I would never share that with your boys. Look classic and natural dont be so over the top. Actually take care of yourself the healthy and modest way.
  • Be a Great Wife: this is the most important role of being a Momma to little boys in my opinion. They need to see the affection between their parents, they need to understand women have opinions too, they need to see that women can make decisions as much as their fathers, they need to see the love and respect their Momma has for their Father. I know when my boys start looking for a wife one day I dont want them to marry some woman who is not modest, has a horrid attitude, doesnt respect them, and truly doesnt love them or the Lord. I would rather them marry someone who can help them grow as a man, who loves and respects them and the Lord, and has a unique personality with a go getter attitude. Show that side to your boys by being a great wife!
Those are my 10 pieces of advice on The Art Of Raising Little Boys...I think each Momma has her own unique way of raising boys and what works for one may not another, but I do believe no matter what your little boys need love, attention, and care. They need to see a strong woman who can follow her dreams and not be afraid of the world. They also need to know they have a place with you, not only in your heart but in everyday life. 

Dont wait to make your son a great man-make him a great boy...{Anonymous}

You dont raise heroes you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they will turn out to be heroes, even if its just in your own eyes...{Walter M. Shirra Sr}

Many Blessings!

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