Friday, June 21, 2013

{10 Ways To Bless Your Husband}

I don't always speak so openly about my walk with Jesus, or the power Jesus has had in my marriage, or even my husbands walk in faith. I feel we are all very different people and have our own views and beliefs when it comes to our walk with the Father. However as a young Christian woman who is a wife I want to share some of my thoughts on how you can bless your husband, whether your a single woman, a soon to be married woman, a newlywed, or a pro-married wife I feel all of these things can enrich your marriage and help you be a blessing to your future husband, new husband, or pro-husband.

1. Respect Yourself: this is a big one for me, I see so many young girls, young women, and older women who disrespect themselves on a daily basis that my heart breaks for them. You have a mom or older sibling who flaunt too much and leave little to the imagination so to speak. They dont respect themselves or their body enough to wait for their future husbands, they dress poorly as a wife always in sweats, they flaunt too much which draws attention from other men that are not their husband. Your body ladies is not your capabilities, men would rather know your smart, funny, caring, loving, etc rather then be completely enticed by a body that wont last because thats just the way of life, as we age our bodies do too, but your wisdom, care, and love will only grow. Only show what you will be proud of later in life. 

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV; 

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV; 

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:10-31 ESV

2. Nourish Yourself Spiritually: Read your Bible, do yoga, listen to praise music, read or listen to self help books. You need to nourish your spirit to be a peaceful person and someone who people especially the man in your life will want to be around. Consume yourself with the words of Lord and nourish your heart and soul.

3. Pray For Your Marriage: Whether you are soon to be married, a newlywed, or already a wife, praying for your marriage is something you need to do on a daily basis. Satan will throw things at you when you least expect it, he will throw things at your husband and try to break that bond between you and your spouse or future spouse and holding God's hand and listening to Him will be the solution to any problems you may have to face. The world we live in is nasty and cruel, satan may throw lustful eyes upon you or your spouse, horrible thoughts, lies, and other sinful things you have to pray for God's grace, wisdom, and protection for you, your husband, and your marriage.

4. Love Him Unconditionally: Many marriages fail today because of the failure of love, people marry because they are enticed by looks, money,etc. There are few who marry because they genuinely love their future spouse. I hear a lot of "Well if he had only done this or that"...Your love should never be based on actions, if that were the case then we would all be very unloved by our Heavenly Father. No matter what your man does you need to show him the love that God has shown you.

5. Forgive Him: if you are not married yet go ahead and pray for a forgiving heart for your marriage and 
future spouse, because there will come a time when you will really need that forgiving heart. If you are married now pray for the same, ask God to bless you with a forgiving heart so you can bless your spouse in those times of need. Your husband will not always do everything right, he may slip up, but you need to be as forgiving as our Father and extend it to your husband to make your marriage stronger.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgive one another as God in Christ has forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 ESV

But if you do not forgive others for their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you of your trespasses Matthew 6:15 ESV

6. Let Him Lead: This one was a hard one for me, I was taught to be independent, and never to depend on a man. I am also stubborn and used to be one of those "Its my way or no way" women. In the Bible it states that the man is the head of his home, you are essentially one with him but under him when it comes to leading. Too many couples fight for their places and for control in the relationship, you have women being treat like doormats or men walking around with leashes. You are equal in God's eyes but your husband is the lead. My biggest issue of control came with money, I was a freebird so to speak and my husband was a savor, there was no balance. I cannot tell you how much money I wasted because of spite, and how many holes my husband had to get me out of because money is not one of my abilities. Its taken time but once I let go and started allowing my husband to lead with money and other choices in our home our marriage brightened a lot because he finally took the place that was meant for him to have, lead.

Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord; For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself  its savior. Now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV  

7. Respect Him: Men need to be respected and feel like their opinions matter to their wife. Men are the lead of the home however a lot to marriages leave the man wanting respect and the woman wanting to feel loved. Many women belittle their husbands and dont value their opinions which cause too much unneeded or unwanted chaos. Men crave respect, in return he will love you so much more than you could have ever imagined.

8. Pick Your Battles & When to have them: picking your battles is hard, especially for a woman who runs the home. I am a homemaker, I stay home and tend the children, homeschool, handle dinner, etc. It drives me crazy when my husband leaves his pants on the floor or a towel on the bed or even a empty drink can in the window seal behind the sofa, however it can be picked up within a few seconds and its not something that I am going to cause a huge fuss over. Whats that saying: Dont cry over spilled can just clean it up and move on. No dents in the marriage no feelings hurt, no bitterness...Choose your battles wisely. Another thing is to save your conflicts until the right moment. Dont hit your husband with a bomb when he comes in the door from work, dont call him at work and bite his head off, dont show up at his work and bash him in front of his employees or coworkers,dont argue in public or embarrass your husband in a public setting, wait until you are alone and  the time is right which is usually at the end of the day once you have cooled down and have had time to pray about the situation and time to cool down your emotions.

9. Remember Your Mood Sets the tone for your marriage: This one I believe many women forget. In my marriage like the majority of other marriages my mood sets the tone for my marriage. If I wake up cranky then my day will go cranky, when my husband gets home than I will snap at him upon the opening of the door, I will complain about hundreds of things and at the wrong moments, however if I wake up in a good mood, have my time alone with my Father over my much needed caffeine kick of coffee then my day goes so much better, I dont fuss at my husband, I dont become distant, and I show emotion towards my spouse.

10. Be intimate with your husband: Intimate doesnt always have to mean having sex, it can be as simple as holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, a cuddle during a movie, or a conversation between the two of you. Yes God did design us to be intimate with our spouse, but intimacy means a bit of a wide range of things. Go for a walk with him, give him your undivided attention, show him you love him...never withhold intimacy from your spouse, that is one of the worst things you can do for your marriage.  It causes bitterness and resentment rather than love and care.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife...1 Corinthians 7:4 ESV

Cherish your marriage before your married, take time to grow the seed of marriage with love and nurture, spend time on yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Let your husband now he is loved and cherished, be his number 1 fan in all things, most of all show him respect, affection, and pray each day for him and your marriage.

Disclaimer: All photographs on this blog are that of my own unless otherwise stated; photographs that are not mine will be linked to the source I got them from. Please do not take any of my photographs without my written permission. Thank you!

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