Sunday, July 14, 2013

Are You Polishing or Tarnishing when it comes to your Husband?


Kindness-the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate; a kind act.
Do you ever wonder if you’re being kind in your marriage? The word that sticks out to me the most is considerate-careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others.

One of the biggest things women deal with on a day to day basis is the need to talk. We will ramble on and on about things from lists, parenting, shopping, the celebrity news, etc. However, one of the biggest things we tend to do is talk about our husbands or our marriage publically. It is one thing to talk about your husband or marriage in order to help someone else; however it’s another when you’re speaking about things that should be left private or you’re not uplifting your husband.

When Jim and I first got married, one of my biggest things was complaining about him. I would talk negatively about him or something he had done, I never actually talked about the good he had done, I realized I wasn’t only hurting myself, or my marriage, but I was hurting Jim. I was tarnishing him to other people. My words weren’t kind or considerate.

A couple of weeks ago God starting talking to me about my words, my tone, and how I how actually effect others with what I say. I thought He was crazy, but you know I am sure while listening to what I had said a few times He thought I was crazy. I am a pure Southern Belle, I am feisty, quick to speak, a complete firecracker on my beliefs. The thing is that is not always a great trait of mine. When Jim and I have a disagreement I am the firecracker, I am quick with my words, but not quick to think before I speak, I tend to make matters worse than helping the situation. Marriage is something that is not always easy, it’s not perfect, and you will have times where it’s easier to speak of the bad than the good, or be negative to your husband than to be positive, but that is not how it is supposed to be.

In Ephesians 4:29 ESV it states:
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

When I think about that verse my Southern Belle of a firecracker wants to just be blunt and say “well if the shoe fits” but is that right? No, it’s not.

Your words should be just like that verse says, good for building up as fits the occasion so that it will give grace to those who hear. When I speak about my marriage and my husband I should only speak of the good within it, the happiness it has given me, the love that Jim shares with me, and the wonderful Godly qualities that Jim poses. I should never speak of our problems publicly  or speak of the mishaps Jim may have or make from a day to day basis. I don’t want to tarnish my husband to other people; he is the head of our home, and the provider, what if the wrong person was to hear something I state? It could ruin his reputation, and not to mention it will tarnish their view of my husband.

If you are not married yet you can speak kind and considerate words about your future husband and marriage. Be optimistic and positive when you speak to others about it, speak about the Godly qualities you hope your future spouse will poses, speak about the wife you hope to become. When in prayer with God speak to Him about these things. You can build up your future spouse and your marriage through God. 

Before you speak really think about it, if you want to speak about your marriage please be kind and considerate to your husband, only speak words that will build him up and brighten his reputation not tarnish it.


How do you speak to others about your marriage or spouse? Is it in a Godly positive way or is it in a negative manor that can tarnish him?

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