Friday, August 08, 2014

You've Got Mail & Realization

“Its 6:30 pm, the doorbell rang, it was the mail guy with a box I had been waiting to arrive. Jim heads for the door and I say I will grab in a moment but he had already reached the door by the time the words traveled from my mouth. He sat a decent sized box on the arm of the chair and went back to grilling dinner; I sat for a moment on the computer to finish something up and then I peered at the box, like it was something from another galaxy, I grabbed it up and headed to my room, grabbed some scissors, and began to tear away the tap holding the box shut. It finally opened and within was all these pretty things from one of my favorite shops, but…”

Instead of pure happiness when I opened the box like all the other times, a bit of sadness poured over me with a slight mix of bitterness and a nauseous feeling; not because I couldn’t afford the items, but because I didn’t NEED them. A lot of things have happened over the past few months, a lot has changed, and my eyes have been opened to a bigger picture than the right now. I believe the biggest thing that happened to me is the realizing what is exactly important to me right now in this phase of life; and to be honest it’s not that new eyeliner, mascara, foundation, or powder that companies are placing on the end caps so many women like me can touch and feel it; it’s not the house being 100% clean all the time, the laundry that seems endless, or the fact my husband left his bowl of ice cream remnants beside the sofa over night for me to clean up first thing in the morning; to be honest the most important thing to me right now is first and foremost being a wife and mom followed by staying true to myself.

I am not a single woman, with no kids, and only my dog to worry about; I am not a newlywed; I am not a woman who her and her spouse have agreed to not have children; I am not a full time working woman with or without children; I am not a beauty guru; I am not a money making blogger. {Nothing wrong with any of those choices by the way, they just are not me, so please don’t feel I am judging you}

I am however a sinful, sometimes flesh led, broken daughter of a mighty King who loves and forgives me no matter what the situation; wife of the man who completely steals my heart each and every day, who’s been by my side no matter what life has thrown in our path, and whom I love unconditionally; mother of four little blessings that I thank God for each day, even when the toilet paper roll has been the ball in kickball, sharpies have been the choice for those wall drawings, and the laundry is never ending; a woman who has feelings, desires, needs, hopes and dreams all the same as the rest of the world.

My priorities have shifted, hence why I am not blogging a whole lot; I tend to be busy with other things in my day; what once was something I longed to write about is not the case now. I could care less about blogging about the new mascara that promises a few things or the new foundation that promises a long list of things; yes I still read the endless posts in the beauty world about all the up and coming but I don’t desire to be one of those bloggers; I would much rather curl up on the couch and read to my kids, or watch a movie with my husband, or be outside talking to my neighbor who is also one of my closest friends while our kids play and we dream of all the coffee in the world sitting in our cups; or marathoning Lord of the Rings for the millionth time with another friend of mine because we just cant get enough of these movies no matter how many times we have seen them...

See guys, life is not about that new mascara, pair of shoes, biggest bag, or who has what and who is doing what, or even that 600th blog post; it’s about living, sharing life with those people around you and making memories that will never be forgotten, making imprints on others lives from day to day whether it be someone you know or a stranger.

“picking up those pretty bottles and smelling those creams all while taking rides down memory lane I realized these little bits of girly things will not bring me joy, the fact again shot through my head, I really don’t NEED these things, what I truly NEED is far greater than a few bottles of pretty scents and body creams…I truly need to be in the moment of life sharing it with those around me!”

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets...{Author Miller}

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