Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I Confess | I Hold Mom Grudges & Payback Will Be Bliss {Hump Day Confessions}

I Confess | I hold mom grudges, payback will be bliss. {insert creepy mom laugh}

Being a mom comes with all sorts of new things, lots of tears, laughter, and the unusual sayings of your little humans; which nobody really prepared you for, its kinda like the mesh panties after child birth. You wonder how in the world a good friend or family member could forget such an important thing to prepare you for.

One day your walking around with your little tot who can barely talk then another they are blabbering about what they seen in the trash can, their brothers poopy diaper, or why mommy has a sunshine on her belly; all out in public. The following are all real things my kids have said at some point of their life that are completely embarrassing but will make for fantastic payback stories later. 

You may be in line when your kid suddenly announces that someone stinks; they ask why they haven't had a bath or who passed gas in the checkout line.

Speaking of gas, they will go ahead and pass some while sitting in the cart on the spice isle; a sweet lady will come up to you and tell you that one day it will get easier, the day you don't have to bring them with you and just smile a very convincing smile all while your thinking about OMG! I'll have to leave them at home, alone. and fire and water start running through your head. 

Or they might just tell you that someone has butt-sheeps; or on purpose show you theirs. Gotta love potty training.

Or maybe they even tell you that someone has boo-boos and they don't mean like a scrape, they mean boobs and then announce that they have squares like daddy while drawing a square on their chest.

Or maybe they tell everyone that you milk the baby since you nurse.

And don't forget about those billboards in the store in the underwear section that show models wearing lingerie, your two year old will loudly say that they look like you; when they are walking with their dad.

They will announce to the whole public bathroom what your doing in the bathroom, you try and make them shush but they keep asking questions; then you hear a lady 2 stalls down trying to hold in her laugh, then apologize. AWKWARD! 

Yep, kids are funny. Parenting is funny. However, every child should come with a warning for when they hit the talking stage. Everyone they know, knows your business. All. OF. It.

Then you have payback later in life when they get to middle/high school, you have all these good ole funny stories you can pass on to their friends or girlfriend/boyfriend. Then you can finally laugh with sanity!

And Just For Laughs...

And lastly you have the image that just made me laugh for a solid 15 minutes, you know, considering every time you flush the toilet while someone is in the shower...BAH HAHAHAHAHA

I'm linking up with Melissa over at Making Melissa for Hump Day Confessions; be sure to go over and check out her confess-sesh and of course all the other peeps who joined the fun! Happy Hump Day!


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