Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That | I'm A Mom


I find it really funny when people think that stay at home moms have all the time in the world; I mean don't get me wrong, it has its perks, like naptime, bedtime, endless coffee at playdates, or eating the kids chocolate secretly in the bathtub but hey, I have just as much on my plate as the next person; but with that said there are lots of things I just don't have the time for...

Solicitors | yep those door to door sales people or fundraising kids; I'm sorry I just don't have an extra 15 minutes in my day to explain to you why I am not interested in that $500 air purifier thing or why I am not interested in buying that $100 tin of assorted popcorn...just not interested. I can buy a box of popcorn at Wal-Mart for $5 and make it any flavor I want, and as far as purifying the air, well that will come when my house is not full of boys. Basically unless your bringing me a Latte from Starbucks keep on truckin'.

Talking on the Phone | lots of people always wonder why I am a texter, yep I made that word up just now...I hate talking on the phone unless your my mom, sister, MIL, or grandma...I'd just rather text you and get it out of the way in simple terms of 150 characters or less. I don't have time to sit and talk about so and so's sisters, brothers, aunts, daddy's, grandpas, cousins, sons wife and how they are doing whatever to piss someone else off...just don't; I would much rather just text you about whatever it is instead. 

Daily Activities for little Sue and Tom | HA! I don't have time to go to the gym every single day much less soccer, baseball, dance, piano, swim, karate, art, pottery, gardening, etc class that they want to do...my kids are too involved with student council or Lego club after school once a week to even have all those other things to do.

Cooking From Scratch | Yea sorry I don't have time for that mess, unless its 30 minutes or less during the week it wont be made until Saturday. I am fine giving my kids some chicken nuggets and fries if that's what they ask for, or cereal for breakfast, or even pb and j for lunch...

Daily Playdates | sure I love mom friends, I love catching up and seeing them however, I just don't have time to deal with that every single day, plus if its something that happens all the time they you have nothing to look forward to or catch up on. 

Being a Style Icon | I see lots of moms who wear things that just make me want to run and hide; things that they can not get down and dirty in with their kids...it makes me sad for their little ones but also makes me wonder how much time it took them to get that primped up?! I don't have an extra 2 hours to put into hair/makeup/nails/dress each day, sometimes, a lot of the times its just yoga pants or jeans and tee...I will embrace my style when I don't have to worry about mud, paint, or some clorox stain on my clothes.

Slang Terms | Sorry you guys, I just don't have time to learn a million new words each year to use in my vocabulary...To be honest Webster already beat you to it anyways with an original word that doesn't sound like mush mouth.

The Cashier at the Store | I know they are just trying to be nice, and engage in small talk while they are ringing up your food and stuff however I just want OUT of the store, the more you talk to me the slower you will go and the more annoyed I will get. You have no clue how long I have been in this place and how badly I want to just run out those doors...its not being mean or rude, but I just don't have time for small talk at the store. 

Neighborhood Get Together's | I'm not a bad neighbor, I like small talk while I am grabbing the mail or a good wave to the house a few doors down but I am not interested in say a neighborhood yard sale, bake sale, or BBQ...not to be rude I am just not interested in knowing what you may need help with or my poor husband having to give car repair quotes, or knowing whose kid is doing what...I have my own house of peeps to deal with and a never ending to-do/home reno list myself. 

School Fundraising | back to number one up there, I have no time for solicitors and I don't desire to be one myself...I also feel wrong trying to trick some unfortunate old couple into buying something I wouldn't even buy myself. 

Seasonal Decorating | yea, I like to come see what all you put out for the holidays, and will pin things endlessly on pinterest that I would love to do one day but today is not the day...I don't need a million pumpkins in my yard lining my driveway or front door, a wreath for every month, or a huge blow up snowman...I just don't have time or patience to put this stuff up or store it for years in my basement...not to mention all those added lights must raise your power bill...

I'm sure this list could go on but for all our sanity I will stop here. Moms just don't have time to deal some stuff and I bet quite a few of you would agree with it, or even add a few of your own. What don't you have time for these days now that your a mom?


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