Thursday, October 22, 2015

Celebrate | Even The Tiniest Milestones

Today, I finally did it...

I walked/ran an entire 5 miles in under an hour, 53 minutes to be exact!

The first 3 miles I wanted to die, but hey, I was determined, and in the end I won a battle with myself. 

You see, weight has always been a struggle of mine. I have a love/hate relationship with food; once high school hit and the teenage body shaming began, I started limiting myself to one meal a day, I was active, played sports, ran, did weights, you name it I did it...I was under 130lbs in high school...

Then my babies all came and I didn't have the resources I do now to lose those baby pounds and so they stayed, each.and.every.pregnancy; throw in my stress eating and well you have yourself a recipe to pack some pounds. And pounds I got. 

I have went to the gym on an off for a few months, then 2 weeks ago I gave myself a ultimatum...either go the gym solidly or stop paying for it; I've went to the gym solidly for 2 weeks now. And I am proud of myself today, not only for making the 2 week mark but for actually pushing myself and turning over 5 miles in under an hour. 

Let me tell you something, the gym is a gift...a shiny, huge, machine filled, sweat dripping, gift. Its a place to really get to know yourself, your limits, and how to push past them to gain new ones. I use to fear the gym, it was like coming in contact with a clown in the darkest of all dark to me {I'm hugely afraid of clowns} so even though I wanted to become like those people there, I ran away...

Not anymore.

Usually when I go, I am the only person there using the machines or equipment that honestly needs to lose pounds; today I finally seen another lady there who was around my age working on herself too...while I didn't interrupt her, I did smile at her as if to say "YOU GO GIRL"...and truthfully I think that helped my own self esteem more than hers, because I knew I was not the only "fat" girl there...with all eyes on me; truthfully there is never anyone watching me, I just feel like I stick out like a sore thumb but I don't...nobody cares what I am doing because they are all too busy working on themselves too. 

So, today I feel great; and I'm sharing my small victory with you, hopefully to help someone else see that the gym is not a scary place dressed in a clown suit; its a place you can go to find yourself, your limits, and embrace your own healthy future. 

When you do accomplish even a tiny goal, celebrate it...and be proud of yourself.

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