Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Becoming a Mom to a Middle Schooler

This year I'm officially the mother of a middle schooler; my oldest, my forever little girl, is going off to a new school, a whole new chapter to her life is starting in four weeks; twenty-eight days of summer I have the left before I have send her off on the big yellow school bus full of the unknown.

My first year of middle school was a nightmare; sixth grade was the worst if you asked me. I had glasses most of my elementary school years but it wasn't until middle school that I got picked on for them, or for how I looked, for what I wore, you name it I got picked on for it. I had friends but since they weren't in the popular group most of the time I got picked on for that too. A lot by boys, but the girls were just as mean. I actually moved that summer to my moms for seventh and eighth grade because I just couldn't take it. Seventh grade I branched out a little in my own personality, I figured out what I liked to wear, what music I liked to listen to, I wanted to take care of myself, I made tons of friends, and I loved school as a whole. I met my best friend in seventh grade and we were inseparable up until I moved back to my dads the summer of eighth grade. It amazes me at what moving for two years can do to a friendship like the one we had, but high school was just middle schools ugly sister. If I had to look back on my own school years I would say that 7th & 8th grade were the best years for me, and if I had to go back those would be the years I chose. 

I think this is all bittersweet for me; while I am so very happy at who she has became, and so very proud of all the things she accomplished since her first day of school at the elementary school right by our house, I am so very sad to let go of her "little kid" years. I'm hanging on to the days of mud pie making, bug catching, and bubble blowing in the backyard...this new chapter is scary, its all unknown for the both of us. I have never had a pre-teen before, never had a middle schooler, never had to deal with all things to come. I want to lock her little heart away and shield her from all the bad that is middle school these days; but, I can't, and there are going to be so many wonderful things to come over the middle school years that I cannot wait to see how you she takes it, all the new friends she will make, the opportunities that she will get, and the things she will learn about; but, most of all I am excited to see her grow into a young lady and figure out who she is and what she wants to do with her life in the years to come. Her middle school life will be different from my own, times have changed for the most part, I worry more about her safety than anything. Watching part of my heart ride off on that yellow school but rather than walking through the neighborhood with me will be so hard. My hope is that the middle school years will impact my daughter to be a wonderful person, to keep caring about others, to help others, to share her own kindness and love with everyone she meets, and to become someone who impacts the world no matter how big or small. The journey starts in twenty-eight days when I watch her get onto that yellow school bus...

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